A new look on Screen-Addictions: Lets call it Screen-Attachment.
Screen-Additions, as its now called, can lead us away from the real root cause. Or to be more precise, perhaps if we change our perspective on Screen-Additions, we are able to see the world of addiction – minor or mayor, in a totally different light. Using the word screen-attachment instead may change a lot- for us, for the children and teenager.
Screen-Additions are a trauma-response.
Screen-Additions are a trauma-response. Trauma leads to unhealthy attachment – to screen-attachment.
Trauma is a way to have hope removed from your life. Trauma can paralyse. Trauma can have all sorts of implications. Trauma does not mean near death experience, trauma can mean just, lack of love, lack of connection, lack of hope, being in a state, that is too big for the child age. One event can cause deep trauma or a accumulation and repetition of these minor events can lead to trauma response. When mother says no or daddy has no time, no trauma will occur – but if that disconnection, lack of love, lack of hope repeats many times and occurs in times where the child needs most love, it can cause trauma – minor or mayor. For a sensitive soul might be easier trigger or a Child with birth trauma. Trauma has for everyone a different meaning. I hope that is explained here. A recommendation, don’t use the word Trauma in a official context with teachers, theraphist or other people. Describe what the child feels.
Children and Teenager need bonding and attachment. Some more, some less.
Trauma, with such various strength and names, has one mayor feature: If trauma occured, a child wants to feel secure: and attaches. Usually it attaches to the mother first. If the mother is not available, to the father. If both not available – physical, emotionally or spiritually – it still needs to attach. Or Reattach. It is not helicopterparenting, if a mother is available when the child needs it – that is love. It does not weak the child, it strengthen the child. If the child attaches too much, like in the Pulsatilla mental picture, it needs help from a homeopath, oesteopath or other practitionair. Homoepathy is particular good for healing emotional states and balances the back to normal. So when the mother is there for the child, the mother enables attachment. If the mother is not there, the child cant attach. If that happens once, no issuee. If that happens many times, it can leave a hole and the need to attach is still there. So the child attaches to other things that give comfort.
Screens give comfort too, because the child can attach.
Now why early Media use is to dangerous. You have the answer? Exactly, because we kind of outsource our role of parents and that of giving comfort. Looking after the child is about making sure its save, but it is also about making sure its safe and we can provide attachment when needed. Just think about a few incidences when you gave your child your phone – was there perhaps moment when the child was bothering and you said, here, play with the phone? What did the child want? To bother or to attach. To Bond? To feel comfort? It wanted to feel comfort, it wanted to bond, and it wanted to attach to get these feelings to feel good and secure. Again – does that happen often, a visit to the homeopath or oesteopath can heal the unterlaying imbalance and all is fine.
The phone replaces mummy and daddy.
So what do we do, when we give the child the phone? We positively reinforce or in other words conditioning and teach the child – all you need right now and mummy or daddy cant give you right now – will be provided by the phone. Sooner or later, mummy and daddy are replaced – by the phone. The child does not attach anymore to mummy or daddy, but to the phone. So it makes more than sense, instead of calling it Screen-Addition, Screen Attachment. Not only is it more precise of what is going on, it also reminds us everytime we use the word of what we need to do with our children. Attach. Give comfort. Give love. Take a break. Change our life perhaps, if we see its all too much for me or the child.
And we see, something needs to change. What is lacking? Play? Friends? Nature? Community? I need a different job? In the end, we might end up seeing, that a lot of things go wrong in our society and we need to see how we can better adapt or change things in our radius, so the child can attach to positive things as it gets older. We cant be there for children all the time, but slowly providing positive attachments to the child will help compromise the need to attach to screens, sweets, coffee or other things.
Teenagers are the accummulation of missed, healthy attachments and bondings. That sounds harsh and hard perhaps, but if you see additions as unhealthy attachments, and your child could talk openly and was aware of what was missing – it might just say similar words as above.
Addictions are unhealthy Attachments. If we change these words from Screen-Addition to Screen-Attachment, we might be able to see this pandemic in a new way and are able to find solutions and help our children to become happy, positive and with love and hope filled children. And perhaps, a different word, helps children also better to look into the issue when they are teenager and older. With the word addiction comes that inner resistance – no, not me. Perhaps that is different, if we use the word Screen Attachment.
25 October 2023
The Garden in the Woods is a project that wants to think, that we can face any challenge in this world and find solutions – if we are open to new ways of thinking and doing things. Sometimes its easy to do that, sometimes its challenging – as more heart we put in, as more fun we have. The Garden in the Woods Projekt loves to see children happy and parents & happy healthy plants and trees and everything betweens there.